Counseling for Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Rockville Centre

If you’ve been told you’re self-centered or arrogant, if you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others or needing to be the best at everything, and if deep down you’re terrified that people will discover you’re not special, you might be dealing with NPD. The constant performance is exhausting, and the fear of being ordinary feels unbearable. Despite what pop psychology or social media might say, narcissism isn’t actually about being selfish or arrogant. It’s often a coping strategy built around a deep fear of not being enough.

What is NPD?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and difficulty genuinely caring about others’ feelings. But underneath the grandiose exterior is often profound insecurity and shame. People with NPD may struggle with criticism, have volatile relationships and feel empty despite outward success.

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Causes and Triggers

NPD often develops from childhood experiences of being either overly praised or severely criticized, inconsistent parenting, early pressure to achieve in order to feel valued, or trauma. Triggers include criticism, failure, being ignored, or situations where you’re not the center of attention. Even small slights can feel like major threats to your sense of self.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a safe space to drop the performance and explore what’s underneath. Over time, it can help you build a more stable, integrated sense of self that isn’t dependent on constant external validation. You can begin to understand your patterns, develop deeper emotional awareness, and learn to connect with others in a way that feels real and mutually fulfilling.

With patience and commitment, therapy can support you in:

Recognizing and regulating intense emotional reactions
Building empathy and emotional resilience
Addressing shame without defensiveness
Repairing and maintaining meaningful relationships
Letting go of perfectionism and performance-based self-worth

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Therapeutic Approaches

While therapy for NPD takes time, especially early on when trust and motivation may be low, it’s absolutely possible to make meaningful progress.

At Counseling with Compassion we use approaches like Schema Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, and Mentalization-Based Therapy which are particularly helpful for exploring early relational wounds and building emotional insight. While not traditionally front-line treatments for NPD, CBT and DBT may be helpful for managing specific behaviors and relationship challenges.